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Fumbling through your dresser drawer
Forgot what I was looking for
"... she said, oh baby don't feel so down."

Last night was a complete blast.

Tiffany, Will and I went to Wal-Mart, where Will bought a 1:4 replica of a Jeep Wrangler RC car, for fifty bucks. It was hysterical. I spent like 90 bucks, but it was all on stuff for my vacation. I'm so excited to go, four more shifts at work. This time next week, I'll be in New York.

Back to last night. So, Tiffany, Will, Dorrinda, Kira, Chris and I all went bowling. It was so much fun. After that, we went to the Elephant Bar. I volunteered to be Designated Dan, and the girls got trashed. Will had to go pick up Louie at the airport, and Chris had to go pick up his daughter. The waiter tried giving me an alcoholic drink without carding me, and we thought it was pretty funny, even though Dorrinda and I said "Non-alcoholic" like, twice each when I ordered it. Chris didnt realize what was wrong until I flat out told him, "I can't drink, I'm not twenty-one and I'm driving the girls home." It was a really fun night, even though Kira and Dorrinda got into a little argument when we got back to Tiffany's.

My friends are awesome.

Current Location: Home
Tell me how to feel: tired tired
Running through my head: the sweet melody of the airconditioner

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It's been a long time since I've written in this journal, and I wonder if anyone is actually even paying attention to my journal anymore. It's been almost a full year since I've posted in it, and I really should use it as my sounding board. Going back and reading all those entries made me think about so many things, and how much I've grown and learned. Being a shift isn't all it's cracked up to be, past me! Oh well. I think this is going to be all for now.
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I've not updated in ages. There's just so much going on in my life right now, I really want to be able to just be like, "Whateva, fuck it!" But it's my life. It's what I'm going to do.

I miss snuggling up with someone at night.
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I want whoever who reads this to ask me four questions.

Any four, no
matter how dirty or random. I have to answer them honestly.

In turn, you
have to post this message in your own journal, and you have to answer the
questions that are asked of you.
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From Here.

When you were 1, you cried about being hungry. She talked on the phone with her friend, and shut you in the other room with the dog.

When you were 2 and you learned to walk, she strapped you more tightly to the stroller and yelled at you for squirming.

When you were 3, you were just starting to learn to use eating utensils. She ignored that and screamed at you for not eating your creamed spinach.

When you were 4, she burnt down your home because she didn't like it and wanted a new one.

When you were 5, she made you wear a horrible itchy outfit that was two sizes too small for the holidays. You refused to walk around like a trained poodle for her flavor of the week's parents. You tried not to cry when she said she never wanted you in the first place.

When you were 6, you began visiting your grandparents. When you came home, she sold all of your new clothes they bought you and used the money for drugs.

When you were 7, she made you go to the neighbors' houses to beg for cigarettes. When you didn't do a very good job, she neglected to feed you.

When you were 8 and being bullied, you told her you wanted to die. She ignored you.

When you were 9, she locked you in the closet so you wouldn't bother her and her new boyfriend having sex.

When you were 10, she started using your social security number to put the bills in your name. your credit has been bad since.

When you were 11, she woke you up on Easter Sunday to a dining room table covered with the cheapest and most disgusting candy, totaling more than 30 pounds. You had one piece, and she ate the rest.

When you were 12, you had a fight about staying over at a friends house. When you came home, she'd set your meager amount of possessions on fire.

When you were 13 and gave yourself a Mohawk, she cried and refused to look in your direction for three days.

When you were 14 and just starting to adjust to your sexuality, she cornered you and screamed that you were a slut. At this point, you hadn't even kissed anyone.

When you were 15, she made fun of you for not having enough of a social life. When you started going out more, she yelled at you for treating the house like a hotel.

When you were 16, you slaved long hours at a fast food restaurant and saved your money well. She stole your money to buy booze. You learned how to open a bank account.

When you were 17, you warned your friends not to come in your house unless you were there. She let her current boyfriend fondle your friends in front of her and called you a liar when you complained.

When you were 18 and got accepted into college, she told you that she never saved any money for you and you could not afford to go.

When you were 19, you graduated college with a 3.8 out of 4.0 GPA, but were so exhausted you couldn't work. She kicked you out of the house with nowhere to go.

When you were 20, you went to her house for mother's day. You cleaned, wallpapered, organised, and bought her lunch. She thanked you by screaming that you were a lazy bitch before telling you to go home.

When you were 21, she lectured you on the evils of drinking, right before she went out and got trashed with her friends.

When you were 22, she was mad at you for being mad at her for cheating on your father.

When you were 23 and failed your driving test, she had nothing helpful to say because she was the one who had refused to teach you driving or even let you take in-car driver's ed in high school.

When you were 24, and told your parents you wanted them to meet your soon-to-be fiance, she spent the whole night critizing you, and wondering if you were "ready" to get married when she had already been divorced three times.

When you were 25 and planning a wedding, she turned her back on you because you didn't like her boyfriend and didn't follow the same religion.

When you were 50, she called and nagged about how you should take care of her. When you did, she went back to criticizing everything you did.

A while later, she died and you felt overwhelmingly grateful that you didn't have to deal with the bitch anymore.

Post this in your journal if you think that so-called "mothers" who think the world owes them something because they had ""ZOMG CHYLDWENN," yet do nothing good for their offspring, should be forcibly sterilized with a rusty spork.

Tell me how to feel: sad sad
Running through my head: Elton John - Your Song

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I got quoted in the [Bad username: ljdq"] today because of work.

It was t3h funnay.

They asked a question about starbucks!
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One mother's reaction to the "religious right" concerning her homosexual son.


Cut for the link-phobicCollapse )

A good read.

Tell me how to feel: Proud
Running through my head: Antigone Rising - Michael

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Work sucks. I hate working right now.
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Lite Blu Candle: *points at Random Player* You! You are Bara's cunt!
EntropicBaraqiel: Random Player: Arooo!?
Lite Blu Candle: Ami: *walks away, brushing off hands* My job here is done.
EntropicBaraqiel: Baraqiel: ... why am I shoving my fingers into one of my players?
Lite Blu Candle: Ami: Because it feels good!
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My laptop is being a bastard, and chat is a pain in the ass right now.

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Lite Blu Candle: Kyle, I'm bored.
oppositeitself: FISTING
oppositeitself: boo. i was chatting with this guy and he's deaf.
oppositeitself: BOO.
oppositeitself: i have to go smoke.
Lite Blu Candle: Fisting?
oppositeitself: FISTING
oppositeitself: >:o
Lite Blu Candle: You like fisting?
oppositeitself: oh god yes. it's my favorite pasttime. as soon as i dropping you off last night *BAM* up to my elbow in rectum.
oppositeitself: ... i'm obviously feeling silly.
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1. Jerry, doppio espresso.
2. Steve, Venti Drip.
3. Bob, double cupped Venti Drip with no lid.
4. Gary, Venti Drip and a Los Angeles Times
5. Robert, tall vanilla breve extra hot no foam latte.
6. Gary, quadruple espresso.
7. Banke, grande coffee frappuccino/venti nonfat extra hot dry cappuccino.
8. Ryan, iced grande unsweetend iced coffee.
9. David, iced venti unsweetened iced coffee with numerous addshots.
10. Andrew, iced venti unsweetened iced coffee.
11. Gina, venti toffee nut nonfat easy whip extra hot latte.
12. Cindy, grande white mocha in a venti cup with extra whip.
13. Sharon, venti unsweetened no water unshaken black iced tea.
14. Corina, double tall sugar free vanilla nonfat with whip latte.
15. Trish, iced grande Chai tea latte
16. Sasha, iced venti chai tea latte.
17. Sonja, iced grande 8 pump easy ice chai tea latte.
18. Rick, Venti caramel frappuccino.
19. Jen, iced venti vanilla percent extra ice latte.
20. Yvonne, double venti iced seven pump sugar free vanilla nonfat latte.
21. Joe, venti drip/yvonne/jen.
22. Rex, iced grande easy ice no whip mocha.
23. Joe, grande mocha.
24. Bob, venti mocha.
24. Larry, venti two pump nonfat extra hot with whip mocha.
25. Joe, venti mocha.
26. Lindsey, iced grande cinnamon latte.
27. Sandra, grande nonfat extra hot latte.
28. Craig, grande vanilla latte.
29. Bill, grande mocha.
30. Bill, tall nonfat latte.
31. Pat, venti mild drip.
32. Leslie, triple venti sugar free hazelnut nonfat latte.
33. Shelly, decaf venti vanilla latte.
34. Lupe, venti caramel frappuccino and a decaf grande caramel frappuccino.
35. Ceci, iced venti sugar free vanilla latte/venti coffee frappuccino light.
36. Shelly, grande mocha frappuccino.

That's all I can think of for now. More will be added!
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You Are an Iced Coffee

At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you're out with friends

Your caffeine addiction level: medium
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You Are A Vampire
Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

Vampire Score: 10 WereWolf Score: 6 Mage Score: 6 Wraith Score: 5 Changeling Score: 7

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I'm going to swallow my pride and apologize.
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I'm a terrible person.

I can't even be nice to people.
*head meet laptop*

Why can't I be nice?

On another note, I was thinking of what Andrea said to me today at work. She said that with as much as I work my butt off, I should be a lead. I don't know if it is going to happen, though. I need to talk to Paul in the morning. I was looking at the schedule, and there's like, no mid lead, again. Paul's supposed to leave at 8 tomorrow morning, I don;t think that's happening. I know I shouldn't worry, but... still. I do anyway.

Time to burn a CD, then bed. Gotta pick Paul up again in the morning.

Tell me how to feel: sad sad
Running through my head: Jet - Cold Hard Bitch

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Today at work was awesome. So, I got woken up early, but who cares? I worked a mid, running the shift. It was gold. The only sad part is, Lallique is gone now. She had to move before she was planning on it, which makes me really sad. Though, Nora called today, and she's okay, thank goodness. I guess no one could get ahold of her. Heather got mad today, because of me running the shift. All I was doing was deployment, no cash handling whatsoever.

Alex said I did a good job because:
-the trash was taken care of
-all the breaks were given out
-the pastry case looked perfect
-the baristas (Kimmie and Andrew) looked happy when he walked in
-all the dishes were taken care of
-I wasn't in a corner crying
-the store looked pretty awesome

I also gave Kimmie a Green Apron Card today, for staying on top of the slides when I forgot. She got the Welcoming card. Jeff said I could give it to her, since I was running the shift, it's like I am a shift supervisor. Jeff also gave me a M.U.G. award, for working my butt off at work today, and staying strong. He said I did well in deploying my kids, which made me feel oh-so-happy. I can't wait for the end of the summer, when, hopefully, I get to be promoted. I saw Jess, the manager from another store that used to be a lead at our store. I miss her so much. She got rid of all the BS when it happened. Jeff said he wants to steal me. =D That made me feel good, because he recognizes that I know my stuff, which makes all the hard work I do worthwhile.


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Tell me how to feel: annoyed annoyed

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Today was a good day at work.

That makes me happy.
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I feel loved. =)

Tell me how to feel: loved loved

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The Dildo song!

LJ cut for your pleasure!Collapse )

Tell me how to feel: cheerful cheerful
Running through my head: The Dildo song!

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I swear, I'm going to end up punching him one of these days. He's such a fucking cock, I don't want to deal with him anymore. He was rude, condescending, and all out an asshole all day. I was double barring with him while Paul was training Jami, and handed him a bunch of frappuccinos for frappuccino land, and he walked away from them, back to the bar where I was standing and finishing drinks, and proceeded to start the hot drinks. I said, "Oh, I'll make the frappuccinos then!" and walked over there to do so. When I took my ten, he monopolized the bar, that Paul was supposed to be training on. When I got on the floor, I started deploying people, so that breaks could be finished, and he was fucking livid that I dared to put him on the register. Tough fucking shit, everyone has to do it, asshole. I was ever so pleasant to the pissant, but he could do nothing but be an ass. Kim was on her break, and he would walk away from the register and make drinks, leaving a line of customers! He was rude to me, Kim said he pissed Kyle off. He was rude to Kyle right in front of me. Just because there was a miscommunication, does not mean that it is Kyle's fault! He had to go home, it was time for his shift to be over. Asshole can go play hide and go fuck himself. We're going to document everything that happens, starting with today.

Roughly 10:30ish, Tuesday, June 28th, 2005.
Present: Myself, Kyle and Oscar.
What was said:
O: Did you forget to mark three grande lowfat chai's? *condescending tone*
K: No, I was told to go home.
O: Wasn't it your job to mark them?
K: No.
Oscar turns away and mumbles

He was a dick the entire shift. I don't know what crawled up his ass and died, but he needs to get it out before I kill him. Putting me in tears while we are closing isn't fucking nice either.

Tags: ,

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It's 1:28. I;m supposed to be at work at 4.

I fell asleep at nine, woke up at 12:30, and CANT FUCKING GET BACK TO SLEEP!


Tell me how to feel: awake awake
Running through my head: Three Doors Down - Let Me Go

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...shit seems to hit the fan for me.

I've actually been doing okay, these last months, and now.. now, I don't know. It hit me like a brick wall, I was okay, and now, I'm not. Maybe it is just little bits and pieces of things here and there, but now, now I feel like my world is ending. I know it isn't. There's so many things that are going so well, which doesn't explain why I feel like this all of a sudden. There's just an ache, one that wells up from inside of me and wants to spill out, wants to spill over and ruin everything. I need my few friends so desperately, but there's something that makes me want to push them away, something that makes me feel as if I don't deserve these wonderful people. Maybe I'm not as wonderful as I sometimes think I am. No, I take that back. I'm not as wonderful as I pretend to be. I don't want to hurt anyone. I can't help but feel that if I don't push someone away, I'll be cruel and evil to them. I don't want that anymore. I want to keep my precious few friends.

I don't know what to do anymore. And tonight, at work, all Oscar could do was tear me down. A bit of sarcasm here, a bit of sarcasm there. I was okay, but thinking back on it, he was really hurtful. A snarkily said, "I thought you were bringing things out!" while I was making mocha, and then the sarcasm of, "Thanks for getting tea on my shoes" while I was finishing up the dishes I thought he had finished. I can't work with him, because every time I do, I get attacked verbally. Paul was there, but he didn't hear what Oscar said to me. Alex was there Tuesday, and he didn't hear either. Oscar must be upset because I'm being developed to be a supervisor, while he has been there for 5 years and is still a barista. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have quit already. He got so anal about his shoes today, and he was wearing brand new, not entirely dresscode shoes. They had red on them. I understand he wants to wear his new shoes, but work is not the place to do so. Things spill. Yes, stuff does get on our shoes. That's why we aren't supposed to wear canvas shoes.

I hope Mikel isn't mad that the close wasn't wonderful. Oscar bitched and moaned the entire time. I hate working with him.

By the way, Kyle, your work pants make your butt look good. I forgot to tell you today.

Tell me how to feel: sad sad

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I got bored, and put a puzzle on my myspace.

Check it out.

Tell me how to feel: creative creative

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